Ok, so I sat down and I read Forchans post that I had save to read at home here.
I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it at all. but I read it, I made myself read it then go away and THINK about it. And think some more and think some more. And then I dived into my art files to prove that yes, I own some characters and there will be a fucking MASSIVE art upload into my photobucket account following this one. And by massive I mean massive its going to have old art, embarrassing art and not my best art. and there’s still more to come of the art as well as I have three boxes sitting next to me as I type this up that I need to go threw that I know will yield more arts of mine that I am fucking embarrassed of.
Ok, first up.
I’ll respond to forchan here, point by point and this is going to be painful for me. Namely as I have to let go of my pride. Yes, I’m guilty of that. I’m guilty of it and I hate it at times as it makes me stubborn and blind until things come to a head and I’m not proud of it. Now, I’m an honest to god no lying person. I had my mouth washed out with soap by my grandmother on many times when I was younger for lying to her so I don’t lie, namely as I hear nanas voice in my head saying that I’ve become an honest girl, not the hellion that I was when I was younger.
Ok, responding to Forchans letter thing.
Dear Forchan.
As a starting note, I just pray that I have interpeded what you are trying to tell me correctly, as I take things quite literally. So, if I have missed any points, I am deeply sorry, I did my best to try and understand what you mean.
What can I say to this? Aside from that fact that yes, you have good names, I did not take them all off your RPs. I have three baby name books, and I have my family to steal names off. I have a sibling that can not spell for shit – she’s worse than me, and I have about 20 nieces and nephews from my half-brother and sisters. I have cousins and I have friends that I know. I know three Ryans, a few Davids, a Charles that we call Charlie – he hates his name. But me and Invida are going through the list and changing some of the names – as they don’t fit in the RP that well any more. And there changing, come hell or high water what the parent muses want. Even if little Katlyn is throwing a tempter tantrum that she cant name her kid Evalyn. I wanna call the kid June Arena Kimblee, not Evalyn Janice Kimblee as Katlyn wants it. Ugg.
Now. On this, I don’t really have much to say, other than that umm… how do I put this without putting my foot in my mouth even more? Umm… I can’t think of a better way to put this but… my muses sometimes name themselves or I’m at the table drawing and a family member suggests a name and I take it, sometimes forgetting that its already in use. And then days latter I find it and then I’m too lazy to find a new name so I put it off and ugg… and this is not an excuse. This is fact. I’m just plain forgetful and sometimes I like a name that I don’t wanna not use it and then I’m like, but I can’t, then I do anyways. But I’m hoping to change that. I really am.
Ermm – I didn’t know that you had a Reine when we gave Alexandria that middle name. The same with Ryan – even if ours is a show off. And nah, id say that great minds think alike - if you look
here, you’ll see a fair few of names that are yours in my art from a few years ago. That I have dug out just to show off and get embarrassed over. And before you say that I drew all these in the weekend, I can not draw just under two hundred images in one go. And I can barely cough up 100 images that are good in a year. Most of the art that I do is duds or I don’t like it so I leave it half frinshed. And There is MORE art, like 400+ images sitting at home waiting to be scanned in if I have to – and there’s more in the boxes that im going through tonight when I get home.
Ok, this one. I didn’t pick Ryoko for my fem Roy, Invidia did, it means Dragon Child and it fits as Roy’s a pyro - though ours doesn’t get to be fuhrer, we had Frank get that. Actual, I’ll post a name meaning post here and no, my names aren’t lies. Zachary was chosen for Ed and Envys first born back in late October / November when I was doing a m-preg RP with another RPer. Sean was next as it was the name of the boy that I had a crush on in year 8 at high school. – Bare in mind that I’m Australian and we just have primary and high schools. Our Ryan came as it means little king and that’s what we felt that Greed and Kimblee would name their second Son. Rhys was another high school boy I knew. Calista was chosen as it’s close to the name of a moon of Jupiter and it means
Most beuitful and her middle name Alathea means
truth, and Charlton – named after a beer here in Aussie,
Carlton Draught. I just added then the H to make is sound formal. And then I find that it’s a real name. the rest of the name meanings can be found here – well, the ones that we’re keeping. There’s also a reason why I chose what names I did for my novel muses. Oh and I’ll post up the names that I have been using for the hunter RP that me and Kiya have – that’s currently on hold but we need to get back on track – yay, birthing time for the subhumans. Ugg and I still have to get tagging that 76 page RP so far and find what im missing of it. Ugg.
Chiron is Kiyas’ – not mine. And Zahro has since changed to Zohro as I didn’t like Zahro so I changed it to fit with what I have for Zohro – he’s a fencing wiz modelled off the actual Zorro movies. That and I caught myself of that one. Don’t ask me about Claratrix, I just took the root name of Clair and added on a Trix as I wanted a unique name that would fit Elisa Hawkeye-Havocs personality when it comes to naming kids. And she wears dresses and is a demure lady – she is an Archer grandkid by Francis. And I didn’t wanna call her Bellatrix as then I think of Harry potter. Pyralis is getting a name change as with her last name – Armstrong – it doesn’t really fit that well.
Ah, no, it was Zac and then Sean, and then Ryan - who was not named Ryan at the time - popped up in my mind soon after but I ignored him as I didn’t have a Kimblee/ Greed RPer at the time. then Damion poped up around early mid Jan as an extra in another RP that im working on getting up – Kiya can back me up on this one too. Now, I am not a liar. I am not one and I will GLADLY show you proof that I have had names for years. I’m upload all my old art and what not and that’s over 600 images. In fact, I’ll be starting to scan in it all tonight – I’ll do up to around 200 or so, more if you ask it after you have seen the first batch – as I write this at home that is and I have no net at home. And I’ll even scan in the hand written descriptions that I have filed away – though mostly that’s on the main cast and not the minor characters. Then after you see that, you can call me a liar all you want if you still don’t believe me, that sounds fair. Well to me it does and my sense of fairness might be different than yours.
I just plucked mine out of a Chinese dictionary that my mum had when I was 13. That started me borrowing words from the dictionary. I did consider Fen Shui, but it didn’t fit the image that I had in mind for my Xianswaun Emperor that dies early on in my novel. He was cold, ruthless, evil, hard hearted and he used women like they where toys, breaking them too. The next Chinese name I found by accident as I was talking to one of my mums students back in ‘04 and I got onto the subject of names and asked for a suitable name to go with Ren Shan and I was given Ren Quan and the guy said that it was fit to be an Emperors name I just laughed, saying that nah, that ones destined to die young at 16 years old. I get my Xingian names – even if there just mentioned in the RP up until Calista and Seans Eldest scores with a Xingian prince – third in line for the throne and on like day ten of the third visit to Amestris – I just yanked them out of my novel. That reminds me, I have to check the spelling of something to. But that’s not the point.
Lets see… Strange World fits several of my muses – namely Zac in the RP as he wasn’t born in in FMA world. He was born, with his twin, in our world and then they came over when they where 7 years old. So it fits as Zac and Sean both recall what it was like in England, and Zac really does see the world that he lives in as strange. Jasperis it fits because if her out look on the world – she’s naive to a fault and has autism in a world that would rather lock her away than let her live a ‘normal’ life. Mmm… the other songs? I’d herd them before, namely Feel and Bitch – Bitch when it was really pop and always on the radio, but I never had the music to them and in time, I half forgot the words to look up the song when I had the net, which is really, really slack of me I know, but it’s the truth. And I have gone over my songs with a fine tooth come to try and find better ones, but it doesn’t work. And I’m not allowed to touch my sisters CD collection that she keeps under lock and key so I don’t know if there’s any songs in there that might fit them better.
I cant do tables and I admit that I was lazy and should have given credit. I have no excuses, just a plain I’m sorry. I liked the idea and I copied it. That and I though it fit best as the other way I had it was one big mess of confusion that not even I could decipherer. Im sorry that I yanked it from you, but I wont change it as it fits and otherwise I will make a mess of it and I don’t really want to confuse others. Oh and I could say that I had the post the sec gen RP logs idea first over on my RP-logs account. But I’m not going to, as I don’t wanna start even more fighting.
This stings the most as it part truth. Yea, I was a bit of an idiot, maybe a big idiot, but now me and kiya are working to fix that. I got reamed by my guilt as I thought on this and there’s not much that I can other than that most of the names on the list will be changing, though I am going to cling stubbornly to Richard as I named him before I saw your Richard name.
Ok, first time I typed up a reply to this one, I went what universe idea, then I did a duh, second gen. I wouldn’t say borrowed it exactly as I did do an RP and mini RP that introduced Zac and Sean, though that was back before I started to USE my LJ and even meet Kiya. But I guess in its current form, yes, borrowed the idea. And hey, I never claimed to have thought up the sec gen universe. And I will not, will not retort with a foot in the mouth thing to the stealing. Its borrowing and then keeping them when you really should find better names. I refer to names like that as place holder names, namely as there easy to remember and then you can go back and change them at alter date. I just use them when I have muses cooking and waiting to be used. As it is, I think that the only third gen muses that are fully ready are Tristan, Olivia and Zohro, the rest are half formed – Gareth is the hardest as he’s a mix of Rhys and Bianca and hes got a lot of Greed in him as well. and I don’t have a personalty template that I can attach to him then let the muse develop.
Umm… im going to skip this one as you just plain confused me, but I will say this. Friendship to me … I don’t even know the meaning of that word truthfully, I guess that’s as I was isolated at school as I was the ‘odd’ ball in the park, even more isolated after year two when I was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, a type of Autism. So I’ll skip this one as it just really does confuse me.
Ok… I will not lose my temper now. Even if you have attacked my gramma and spelling – I think. I know that I’m not the best, but so what? Kiya doesn’t have barely any. And umm… I WILL get published. I will and no one will bring me down from that goal of mine. You can try, but I’m not stopping writing, not when I have a dead line by the end of November to have it all written up – as kindly given to me by Jill and Trevor and Susan and Ryan and Pauline and all the others that have been listening to me talk about it for a very long time.
Oh and umm… not to sound like a stuck up brat but… my mother is an English teacher and she says that my gramma is rather good, though when I type I type fast and forget to put it in at times. But my hand written stuff is by far better than what I type like, so please don’t assume that I have poor English Skills when I got an A in senior English.
And their not stolen and as I said, I can prove it to you and I will, and then who knows what will happen. Either you will believe me or you will cling to your conviction that im a liar and a thief. , it doesn’t really bother me.
And I will stay away from you after this all over, as I don’t know whats going to happen and I really don’t like fighting, but… sometimes it comes down to it and I do put my foot in my mouth and I am very, very sorry.
Thank you for the eye opener and making me let go of my pride, I need that someone to bring me back done to reality.
Emma AKA Broken_Envy
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