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Ok, so i was taking
that can be found here and i was listening to Deathstars Last Ammunition and play God. and it got me thing.

i really did. like on what it means to me. I know that im not the best, and i know that i aint perfect. i wanna play god at times, and i wanna be a killer at times. im lost and confused, and i cant settle for just one person. i dont know hy, i just cant.

i like someone, but only as a friend, and im going to tell her., i cant right now, as her nets down. and to tell her over KJ would be rude, i think. but i might end up having to. and i dont want to,. but.... *sighs*

my life is a mess right now - Covens dead at the moomet, and im lonely. add to the fact that Aya's just dumped a pair of Kimblee/Fem!Roy twins on me - and some other kids of hers - i have to draw them. *sighs* og well. it'll give me something to do over the weekend. ill sketch then out and all that. but still - what am i? the artist for all my freinds? fuck, i still have to fishe up that Katlyn and Ryan arts too. and draw or attemt to draw some porny of Edvness and g/k, k/r and a/r stuff. aand do a sasunarita three some pic. *sighs* andy one know any refs for that kind of stuff?

and then im up doing a bit of art in frount of the TV, and my cat decided that hes going to sit on me! not funny! oh well, i got a few ideas for arts from TV too, so im happy, just have to find the f'ing time to sketch then all.

monday ill upload all the sketches and let you guys vote on witch ones to colour, ok?

oh well, time to go find more memes to take. ^___^

i might do a mass Zodii cast meme sooner or latter. just have to find wher the fuck my sister stuck my note book now. ;___; and i still have to go and tag everything in my LJ - minus a few things and such.

bleh

Jul. 3rd, 2007 09:16 pm
broken_envy: (Default)
Ok, so im sitting here with my heater on, in Covens, chatting with random passerbys and going though my LJ tagging enterys.

now im starting to wish that i wasnt, as its getting me wrilled up again.

god knows that it was stupid, but.. the past is the past and i really shouldnt let shit over a bunch of names get to me.

i shouldnt. but i do.

ive been f-locking my stuff now so that now one can go off at me. i dont like that at all. couse it just makes me whant revenge, and im not allowed to have those kinds of thoughts. not at all.

why? as then it upsets the balance in me and stars to bring forth ShaoLin AKA Zhao, the darkness in me. and that would be bad. she doesnt like to be disturbed at all that much, but it happens from time to time.

i deal with it though, i have to. just like i have to deal with bein a gt a meduim and other stuff of top opf being a shadow walker.


somedays its not far that this all happens to me, but then i think that its my blessing and my curse. i need need to buy new gloves and soon, i cant keep avoicing touching stuff thats not mine.

i also wanna get a reading by mori done for me, but... the times not right yet. i have to wait a bit longer still.

i also what mori to take a look at kiya - im worried about her. im scared for the person that i have feelings for. though i dont know what yet, i just know that i really, really like her. a lot.

im scared at times by it as its strange for me. but ill work it out. i always do.


Lana, Bear and Faerie friended me tonight and im going to see if i can get DN to - when and if i see her at all.

and value and i trust them with my lives... and i just want them top see me for who i am. really, in all aspects of my life.

Fish called me wise, as did rose. but am i really? i mean, all i am is myself and i say it how i see it.

thats how i am...

but anyways, i hope that DN or Angel are on tonight before i have to run of at like three AM in the morning.

doesnt matter though, ill leave a message on DN's yim with my LJ link.

anyweays, im in a good mood, so ill leave you all with some songs to grab from here.


Killingloneliness by H.I.M, All that i've got by the Used. and Feel by Robbie Willaims
broken_envy: (Default)
Songs that have made me cry today.

yea, im all emo at the moment and hopeless to stop it.

I havet found my release from own past. My my curse. my gulit, my shame. my hatred and my sorrow.

I am so fucking sad and i dont know why. Songs are trigging my sadness and
it was all started by feel my Robbie williams.

it brought back all my helplessness that i felt as a child.

i have aspergers syndrome and here
Feel by Robbie Williams


Welcome to my life by simple plan.



Perfect world by Simple Plan.



Some where someday by N*Sync



Million tears by Groove Coverage.

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January 2009

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