broken_envy: (Default)
[personal profile] broken_envy
I hate this, not being able to say No to anyone.

why do i keep trying to believe that hes changed, when he hasnt.

its becouse im a stupid girl that why. im stupid and foolish and i dont deserve the happyness that i should get,.

but i do. i do deserve to be happy, and with him back in my life..

i dont why i let him talk to me again, when i should have been more of the Ice Queen to him. should have, should have, should have, should have. should have don this, done that. but....

no,,, i cant klook back. ive got to move on.

i can not allow myself to be hurt again.

i say thatm, but then i just slide and fall back into the trap.

i am happy, i am.

i have things that are worth living for, thingsthat are worth fighting for and to say that i dont is false.


i feel so alone.

and i dont want to be alone anymore.

but i am. i havent let anyone get to know me, i mean really know me... not scince she dumped me.

i'm still hurting for that, and i know that she will say good.

but i havent done anything to be deserving of this.

not at all, and i want it to stop.

i try and leave the past alone, let it lay, but this is happening and i am getting scared. i dont know who to turn to, who to trust and i am scared.

yes, me, the one that so proudly sya that im not scared of anythi9ng, is scared.

i am sick of trying to be someone im not and its got to stop.

i cant live in a fantasy world any more. my dreams and such are just dreams. nothing more.

i am not special in any know of way, i dont want to be cought up in some hoobledly gook shit.

i just want to live my life and i will.

I will live my life the way i want to.
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broken_envy: (Default)

January 2009

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