why the fuck an i so... bored? disinterested in life right now?
oh, i know, its as i have no Kiya here and its borning with out her.
with out her, my mind starts to slip back to Him, back to who i was early last year.
and i dont want that reminder of the pain that i put others thru. others that cared for me.
my friends in the Coven... i hurt some of them big time i know. i was such a little fool then. i still am at times.
and it hurts to know that. but im glad that i have them. thers true friends. they stayed with me through thick and thin and they got to know me. they got under my sheilds, under the ice queen that i was.
Aqua, Lana, Bear, Fenrir, DN, angel, puppet, mori, Demon, Brand.... ther all my close frineds. they stayed by my side.. and then i upoped and left them.
i had to, He was leading me down a path that didnt wanna go down. so i had to leave, i had to quite cold turky on him, it was my only choice really. then i had to battle my inner demons, the night mares that i had. i still have them at times.
and the headaches that i recieved in the first few weeaks. they wher so bad that i couldnt think straight. litterally. and now that i have returned, ther back. hes trying to lure me back to him, i know. and im scared. my shield is helping, but its not enough, i need to start boosting it and soon. i need to get my black obsidan that i need baddly,. real baddly.
itts only going to get harder from here on it, and i can only hope that i have my friends suport. i know that im going to need it.