Apr. 2nd, 2007

broken_envy: (Default)
the one thing that i hate about having aspergers syndrome is this:

when ever i try to put myself in someone elses emotional state, i get a big fat message from my brain that says


and i want to be able to help others to understand there feelings,. but when i try, i get this message. its like im trying to understand something ALIEN to me.

then again, to me, most of the world is ALIEN. i dont understand social things, my life is basically the internet and i have very few in rl friends.

its no wonder that half the time i dont feel good enough. its as i feel emotionally unavailable to my friends and to my family. though my family make for it with understanding my ticks and sighs.

i have the strangest sense of humor, i laugh at things that others dont and i dont get the subtle jokes. it annoys me and i want to be able to change it,

but then again, i dont, i like who i am. i like being diffrent, i like myself - even if half the time i wish that i didnt have AS. >___>

but the thing is, i want to be able to understand the subtle signs, the emotions of others, i dont want to be seen as uncaring, when im not, im VERY caring. i just have trouble expressing that in a lot of cases. and it shits me off as i have all things that i wanna say/do, but i cant, as i have ZERO idea if its appropriate or not. its probable what takes me so long to get to know someone and get up the courage to enter a fandom that i like. of course, but then its usually just as every one else is moving on or something like that.

*sigh* i guess... that i just feel like im always left behind in the dust. ;_____;

but then again, sometimes the back is better than the frount of the pack. ^___^ thers more to see at the back.

well, to me there is. >___>

and damit, now im on a talk about me streak. NUUU! i should not do that. >___> Even if i do want all the lime light for myself right now. >_____>



Apr. 2nd, 2007 10:58 am
broken_envy: (Default)
oh fuck... i just heard the Death Eagles cry in my head. and i never hear that unless something BIG is going to go down in the next few months. im scared and im shaking and i know that i just Zoned Out. and when i cam to,. i had drawn what i normally can not draw - the Dark Phoenix. I can not draw birds at all, yet i drew this. Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

im scared and shaking and i know that my feeling's dont lie. im a latent/ just beyond the surface seer/clairvoyant/physic. i cant tell when the big things are going to happen. Sept 11 - i drempt of that a week before it was going to happen. the boxing day tsunami. i dreamt of that 2 MONTHS and exactly one week to the day before that happened. and now this... im scared,. something doesnt feel right and its freaking me out.

im just praying that im wrong.


Apr. 2nd, 2007 01:08 pm
broken_envy: (Default)
Title: Clone Sex?
Warnings: Maybe OOC, NOT worksafe.
Pairing: Fem!Archer/Archer.

Crossposted [personal profile] broken_envy  , [personal profile] schlachtfeld  and to [profile] brokens_rp_logs 
Co-Authored by[personal profile] broken_envy  and [personal profile] invidia1988  in an AIM chat.
Bunnied off [profile] tomoe_daeva  ’s work that can be found here


broken_envy: (Default)

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